Goddess’s Choice Read online

  Hmm, that was an interesting thought. Apparently, angry Gulan was not shy or timid. Perhaps Annani should rile her up on occasion and see if it had the same effect.

  The cook waved his big mixing spoon. “The master is out in the yard, training. You can go out and ask him. Your little sister should stay here, out of harm’s way. You should be careful too, Gulan. Master Khiann and Master Esag train with sharp weapons.”

  “I will exercise caution. Thank you for the warning.”

  He nodded and went back to stirring the stew in his big pot.

  Casting Annani one last glance, Gulan sighed before stepping out of the kitchen and leaving her with the cook.

  It was difficult for Annani to refrain from talking. Curious by nature, she had a lot of questions she would have loved to ask the old man. Like how he was managing with his poor eyesight. How did he feel about working in Khiann’s household? Did Khiann treat him kindly?

  The problem was that her voice would have betrayed her as surely as her flaming red hair or her glowing skin. Naturally, she could have thralled the old man to not notice any of it, but a thrall might have been harmful to an aging human brain.

  Gods needed to be very careful with their powers, especially when using it on humans. Immortal minds were stronger, and therefore could withstand more, but humans were too fragile for the immense onslaught of godly mental powers when unchecked.

  It was all too easy to abuse it, to feel superior to everyone who was not a god and deem them less worthy. But Nai had drilled into Annani’s head the importance of treating everyone with care and dignity, even lowly humans. The gods’ law protected humans and immortals against being taken advantage of, but that did not mean it was always followed to the letter. Some gods, like Mortdh, believed themselves above the law.

  A few minutes later, Khiann rushed into the kitchen with a panic-stricken expression on his face. “What are you doing here?”

  Annani pushed to her feet and took his hand. “I need help with a school project, my lord,” she whispered to camouflage her voice.

  “What?”

  Putting a finger to her lips, she tugged on his hand. “Come.”

  Outside, Gulan was leaning against the kitchen wall and hyperventilating, evidently from the exertion of chasing after Khiann. The girl was a strong runner, but she was no match for a god.

  Annani patted her arm. “Everything is fine, Gulan. Go back into the kitchen and rest. Maybe grab something to eat.”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  Annani pulled Khiann behind her as she ventured deeper into his estate’s gardens.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Someplace we can talk privately.”

  “You are out of your mind. What if someone sees us together?”

  Annani stopped and turned toward him, craning her neck to look up at his face. He was so tall, one of the tallest men she knew. Funny that a tiny woman like her fancied a big man like him. But maybe that was exactly why she found him so attractive.

  Well, not only that. It was just one of many reasons. Khiann was smart and handsome, more so than the other gods despite all of them being perfectly formed. A rotten attitude could mar the most beautiful face, and an inner beauty could make a plain one seem gorgeous.

  Not that there was anything plain about Khiann, he was stunning, and yet Annani found his character to be his most attractive feature.

  He was not full of himself, he did not think others needed to worship him, and he treated everyone with respect, including humans and immortals.

  Annani valued that above all. This god was more worthy than any of the others who deluded themselves into thinking that they were real deities deserving of prayers.

  “I do not care if anyone does. It is not against the law for one god to seek the company of another. It is just that as Ahn and Nai’s daughter, I am not allowed the same freedoms every other god takes for granted, and therefore I am treated unfairly.” She smiled. “You know me, Khiann. Am I the sort of woman who would accept unfair restrictions without a fight?”

  He lifted his hand, and for a moment she thought he would caress her cheek, or wrap that big hand of his around the back of her neck to hold her for a kiss, but even though his eyes blazed with the need to touch her, he did none of those things. “You are the future leader of the realm, Annani, you are bound by different rules than the rest of us.”

  “That might be true, but as a leader, I need to have a mind of my own and effect change when I think change is needed.”

  Looking despondent, he shook his head. “You are young, and you think with your heart instead of your head. Your intended would not be happy about you arranging clandestine meetings with another male.”

  Annani looked back at the house. This was not a conversation she wanted anyone to overhear. The cook and Gulan were of no consequence, but an immortal might wander into the kitchen and eavesdrop.

  Mortdh had spies everywhere, even she knew it.

  It was better he did not learn of her plan until it was too late for him to do anything about it.

  “Let us venture deeper into the gardens, Khiann, where we will not be disturbed.”

  He nodded. “As you wish.”

  7

  Gulan

  Gulan leaned her elbows on the kitchen table and propped her heavy head on her hands.

  She was going to get whipped even if Annani took the blame. Her only hope was that they would not get caught. If anyone found out that Gulan had helped sneak the princess out of the palace, just the two of them without a guard to escort her, and then let Annani out of her sight while in the company of a young male, she would be shown no mercy.

  Not for the first time, Gulan wished she was more assertive and had refused this crazy adventure, the latest one in a long line the princess came up with on a regular basis.

  But who was she to say no to Annani when even the royal couple seldom did?

  Ever since Gulan became Annani’s companion and personal maid, she had watched the princess charm and manipulate to get whatever she wanted. It was impossible to say no to her, not because she was so frightening, but because she was so lovable.

  Humans called her the goddess of love, not officially, of course. The title already belonged to a different goddess, whose idea of love was more carnal in nature. Calling Annani by that title would have suggested that she was loose with her favors, which was unbefitting of the future ruler of the realm. Unfortunately, the goddess of wisdom was already taken too, not that it was a good fit for Annani. She was smart but not always wise.

  Perhaps the goddess of compassion would have been a good title for her, but as the future ruler she needed something that denoted strength, and compassion was often regarded as weakness.

  Oh, well. It was not up to Gulan anyway. She was just a servant.

  The cook placed a big bowl of stew in front of her. “If you are sitting in my kitchen, you are eating.”

  “Thank you, but I have already eaten.”

  “Nonsense. A big girl like you needs plenty of nourishment. Eat up. And when your little sister comes back, I will give her a bowl of stew as well. I do not want your lady to think we do not know how to welcome guests in this household.”

  Ugh. She hated when people called her big. As if she needed a reminder. Other immortal girls were blessed with gifts like sharing thoughts without speaking, or the ability to make plants flourish, or even seeing the future on rare occasions, but her gift had to be size and strength.

  A wonderful gift for a male, but a curse for a female.

  Boys either ignored her or tried to treat her as another boy, until discovering that she did not act boyish at all. Gulan did not like the rough games boys played, and she did not like their crude jokes. She liked pretty dresses and flowers and poetry.

  “Hey, Gulan, what are you up to?” Esag startled her.

  As soon as she had told Khiann who was waiting for him in the kitchen, he had thralled his squire and sent him away. Esag should not remem
ber her arrival. She could tell him the same story she’d told the cook, but maybe if she acted rude he would leave and she would not have to talk to him at all. That would be best.

  “I am eating. What are you doing here?”

  He grinned, flashing her a smile that had her heart skip a beat. “This happens to be my home. And this is the kitchen I eat in every day.” He sat on a stool next to her. Way too close.

  She picked up hers and moved it a little further away.

  Esag was still looking at her, waiting for an answer.

  With a sigh, she put down her spoon and prepared to lie again. “My little sister has a school project about commerce. My lady suggested that we seek Master Khiann’s advice since he is an expert in this field.”

  Esag eyed her suspiciously. “A school project, eh? What is she supposed to write about?”

  Luckily, Annani had been very thorough in taking care of all the little details that had the potential of sabotaging her schemes, including preparing an answer to exactly this question. “She needs to list at least five goods that are brought from the west, and five that are brought from the east, and their mode of transportation. Which goods are ferried by boats using the river routes, and which are brought by caravans over land.”

  As doubt melted off Esag’s face, he shifted on his stool, straightening his back and inflating his chest. “I could have answered those questions for her. There was no need to bother Master Khiann. I know everything he knows. He takes me everywhere he goes.”

  Was Esag boasting to impress her?

  Gulan felt her cheeks warm up.

  The cook placed a bowl of stew in front of him, but Esag pushed it aside. “I should relieve Khiann from this task. He has better things to do than helping your little sister with her school project. I should be the one doing that.”

  Oh, no. He could not go. Annani could shroud herself to look like Tula, but her time with Khiann would be cut short, and she would never forgive Gulan for not stopping the squire.

  Reaching for his arm, Gulan swallowed hard as she placed her hand gently on his bicep. “Please stay. I am curious about commerce too. I would love to hear all about it from someone as knowledgeable and well-informed as you.”

  She had never flirted with a guy before, let alone a handsome one like Esag. It felt incredibly awkward and frightening.

  As long as Gulan pretended that she could not care less about men, it did not hurt as much to be ignored. But showing interest, flirting, and then getting brushed off would be painful.

  Surprisingly, though, Esag smiled and sat back down. “I guess Khiann can spare a few moments for your sister.” He winked. “I would rather spend time with a woman than with a kid.”

  Oh, dear merciful Fates.

  Gulan felt faint.

  8

  Annani

  Khiann’s family estate garden was almost as big as the one at the palace. Most of it was taken up by vegetables and spices to supply the kitchen, but further away were beds of flowers that had been planted for their beauty, and trees, some of them heavy with fruit and some which had none but were long-limbed and abundant with foliage. Those had been obviously planted for their shade.

  Annani found a stone bench under one of those shade-providing beauties and sat down, expecting Khiann to join her, but the stubborn man remained standing.

  “I do not bite,” she taunted. Not yet, anyway. “Would you please sit with me?”

  Reluctantly, he did, lowering himself to the furthest spot on the bench, as far away from her as the stretch of stone allowed, which was not far at all. If Tula were there, she could have fit in between them, but Gulan would have been hard pressed to squeeze in.

  “You wanted to talk, my lady.”

  “Annani will do. I am not big on honorifics.”

  “As you wish.”

  Now that she had him alone, her bravado faltered. Annani was confident in her beauty, and even though some people found her too impetuous and outspoken, most loved her anyway. But what she wanted from Khiann was a different kind of love, and she could not just order him to feel it.

  “I came here to talk to you.”

  “You already said that.”

  “I know. But now I am lost for words.”

  He chuckled. “That is not the Annani I remember from school. You were very vocal.”

  Aha.

  So Khiann had been paying attention while pretending not to.

  Just as she had suspected.

  With her confidence boosted, Annani regained her footing and decided it was time to tease Khiann and get him to loosen up around her.

  She had done the same with her guards, which had provided her with lots of entertainment as well as practice, making her an expert tease. When first assigned to her, the guys had been formal and rigid, kind of like Khiann was now, but she would have none of that. The relentless teasing had worked and they ended up friends and gaming buddies. When no one was looking. Fates forbid her father saw her interact with her guards like that.

  Khiann was no different. Too calm and collected for his own good, he needed some rattling. “I see. I know that I am somewhat outspoken. Are you one of those males who like their females demure and subdued?”

  His eyes widened. “No. I did not mean it that way. I loved hearing you argue with the teachers. You would get them so angry with your progressive ideas, but they could not order you to be quiet or yell at you or punish you in any way.”

  She nodded. “I was the voice of rebellion.” Not wanting him to think she was argumentative just because she could be, Annani continued. “I find slavery abhorrent. I know our laws protect the rights of slaves, ensuring that they are treated as well as paid servants, but people should not own other people.”

  Khiann rose to his feet and started pacing in front of the bench.

  “What about those who sell themselves into slavery to repay debts or to provide for their impoverished families? And what about the criminals who are sentenced to slavery?”

  Ugh, normally she loved debating, but not today. Well, she was going to voice arguments, but not about politics. Well, kind of about politics, since her evil intended was a political choice.

  She waved a hand. “I am sure alternative solutions can be found. But I do not wish to discuss social injustice with you. That is not why I came here wearing a disguise and scaring my poor maid who does not approve of my adventurous endeavors.”

  He stopped and looked down at her.

  “Why did you?”

  “Because there was no other way for me to talk to you.”

  “You could have issued a summons.”

  “Yes, and then Mortdh’s spies would have reported it to him right away.”

  Khiann sighed. “What is it that you want, Annani?”

  “You.” It was bold, but it was the truth, and she did not have time to play games.

  Khiann rubbed his jaw. “As much as I am flattered by the proposal, I have to decline.”

  Annani’s heart sank down to her sandals.

  But then he continued, “I do not wish to become the secret lover you keep on the side, and who Mortdh finds a way to dispose of.”

  Annani was not easily embarrassed. Normally she was the one causing embarrassment, not the other way around, but Khiann’s assumption made her cheeks flare with heat.

  Not that it was groundless. Gods rarely mated for love, and it was not uncommon for one or both to keep secret lovers that everyone knew about.

  However, this was not how Annani saw her future. If she had her way, she would be joined with her true-love mate or not at all.

  “Is that what you think I am suggesting?”

  He lifted a brow.

  “That is not why I am here. I do not seek a lover, one who I would keep while mated to Mortdh.”

  Khiann shrugged. “It is not that I do not understand. I do. After the mating ceremony, you probably would not even see him until it was time for you to take the throne. You will need a man to warm your bed. But I a
m not that man. Not because you are undesirable, I do not want you to think that even for a moment, but because…” he hesitated before blurting, “I travel a lot.”

  Letting his head drop down, he added, “And because I want a mate who would be fully mine. A true-love mate.”

  Annani stood up and reached for his cheek. At first, he flinched away, but when she kept going, undeterred, he sighed and let her touch him.

  “This is what I want too, Khiann. I do not want to mate Mortdh. I would rather mate with a human than that vile god. And I do not have to mate with him. The law states that I can choose my mate, and that my choice supersedes Mortdh’s claim. I do not know if you and I are each other's fated, but I know there is a mutual attraction. I would like to give us a chance to find out if there is more.”

  He closed his eyes and groaned as if she was torturing him.

  “I always liked you, Khiann. In school, I could not wait to see you out in the schoolyard, even though you never paid attention to me. I know it does not mean much, but it is a start.”

  As Khiann opened his eyes, they were blazing with inner light. “It would be the start of a war. Mortdh is powerful and dangerous. The cedar trees trade made him very rich, and up north he has no competition from the other gods. Thanks to him, the local human population thrives, and they worship him and only him. He has thousands of humans and hundreds of immortals who are willing to fight a war at his command.”

  Did he think she was dumb and had not thought this all the way through? Sometimes Annani felt like she was the only one who had.

  “I know all that. I also know what the future holds if I do nothing. What do you think will happen when my parents step down, and I take the throne together with Mortdh? He is not like the other gods, he is proving it with every step he takes. He does not believe in cooperation or voting. He wants to be the absolute ruler. The first thing he would do is dismiss the large assembly. If I try to stand in his way, he will have me eliminated or imprisoned.”